a window to life

I started my day with the first hot shower in three months. to me traveling often means learning the joy of simple pleasures again. and the joy of great things. showering with hot water made me really happy!

I went for a walk, sat by the local school and organised my mind.

I’ve made it a habit to ask myself what I want and how I want to feel. because if I don’t know, how should I move towards it?
how do I want to feel?
what do I want to experience?

often the answers are very similar. peace, happiness, bliss, friendship, love. answering these questions helps me to see where I am and where I want to be.
I’ve learned to take my dreams seriously. because oftentimes they don’t last forever. if they are dreamed and stored for too long they’ll lose their fragrance and their meaning and become far away shadows of what once could’ve been your life’s experiences.

I learned to take my dreams seriously because to me life is sacred. and I know not only do I correspond with life but also life corresponds with me. and as in all relationships it’s easier to meet communicated needs. that’s why I choose to know my dreams and tell life about them.

and so I sat there and thought of what I want and what has importance for me at this moment.

I dream to find a home. a home with community, my own lovely space and kitchen access. my home is central and beautiful with plants and looks into nature. maybe my home is a community. space for me to work with people and create art exists with my home as well.

I don’t know how it will find me but I trust the universe that it will 🤍

I bought banana and my first passion fruits in a long time. I continued walking to drink a coffee in one the cafés on the „hippie highway“.

let’s remember I’m in san marcos, the place of the spiritual bakery. as in other places I also get approached by men on the street here. the difference is that here they say something like: „oh, you’re not from this world. tell me, what’s your planet?“ followed by „I’m from the future, but it’s very sad. so I try to have a good time in the past.“

I reached a café. there I sat, journaled, listened to the conversations around me. the hugs here are long and the people wear colorful clothing. someone was giving tarot readings in the café.

I shared my little table with a stranger. he meditated, I wrote, his cacao came and our eyes locked for a moment. the moment didn’t end. we looked into each others eyes, deeply, no one said a word. for a long time we just saw each others eyes, the world around got blurry, distant, still.

I had to close my eyes. as I opened them again, our eyes locked anew and it was impossible to break the eye gazing. his eyes are green. my vision changed and everything started moving, everything became different as if I was looking into a lost part of reality. I closed my eyes again, my hands on my heart. and once again we looked into each others eyes. it was so strangely intimate, so different. a long long conversation without words. tears rolled down his face. I could read in it as if I’ve known him forever.
time stopped a few times, it’s saturday and I’m sitting in this café and sharing my heart only through my eyes with a complete stranger.
our drinks were on the table but none of us had touched them yet.

eventually I left the loop and returned into reality. the whole time we didn’t speak a word to each other. atitlan, what else will you show me in the time we’ll share?

as I left the café and checked the time I realized this encounter had taken more than three hours.

I went for another walk, I met people, I talked to my friends and room mates. I came by the café again and there I suddenly saw a friend from berlin whom I haven’t seen since covid!

we hugged each other for a long time, took a little walk to the lake, chatted there for a while and shared my maracuyas. I bought the drawing of a banana from one of the local children.

after that I got home. friends from my hostel told me about a good restaurant they’ve wanted to go to and I joined them.

in the afternoon I took a walk to find the place of tim, a friend who has lived here for the past 13 years and whom I’ve met at el mirador recently.
he’s not yet back but instead I went up to eagles nest for a beautiful view.

back down in san marcos the school had a celebration and the local women were dancing and singing in their traditional clothing.

as I walked down the hippie highway the electricity stopped working and all the restaurants and shops put on candles instead.

with some people I went to listen to live music in one of the restaurants. it was lovely. I’m in love with live music. I stayed until the end and after that met my roommate in a bar for dancing.

the day was beautiful. also my day was quite emotional. thinking about what I really want had me feeling a little lost because it’s not here yet. this is where trust is important and patience..

allowing things to unfold rather than wishing everything had grown yet. embracing the journey rather than seeking only the outcome.