a window to life

11.07.23

as I am walking through barcelona the city is slowly waking up. once again I notice that besides doves and other birds there’s also parrots living here – such lovely memories from the selva.

I am leaving barcelona to travel down to andalusia for a retreat with uria tsur. something I didn’t even dream about doing some weeks ago. something that in other moments would’ve been so difficult to allow myself.
right after coming back I volunteered for one of urias vocal freedom events and heard of this retreat in spain – my heart called me strongly to attend even though my mind was conflicted. as so often. beautiful mind, how much we have to learn together.
in a few days only that dream manifested into a reality. I decided to choose me, my wishes and desires and follow my heart instead of the restrictions of my mind.

by now I’m in a car driving down to valencia. flowers in the middle of the highways, mountains surrounding the land in the distance. dreamy little villages that remind me of my time on the camino de santiago.
the other people in the car are talking about geo engineering in spanish. I understand some of the conversation but my spanish is not enough to really participate. I am dreaming.

I followed my heart here. once I knew I was going to spain I spoke to my good friend ole in barcelona to see if I could visit him and his partner susana. they agreed and so I suddenly found myself in barcelona again, where 10ish months ago my journey to mexico started.

now big cities aren’t really the place I feel most comfortable. I like mountains and vast skies and seeing stars at night. I like to live around trees. but life sometimes has it’s plans with us..

some days ago I was on my way home through the streets full of amazing architecture when suddenly I felt called to change the side of the street I was walking on. sometimes these things happen, sometimes I don’t think much about it or don’t notice these impulses.

this time I did and asked myself: what did I do this for?

only moments later I was to find out. I walked past a stranger standing on the street with his bicycle, our eyes met. he took down his sunglasses to meet my eyes fully. I smiled and continued, in awe of life’s sweetness and how impactful following simple impulses and our intuition can be – like changing the side of the street.

life is all around us and listens to us, always. always.
some moments later he was there again. he had followed me with his bike, a possibility I had strongly sensed as I continued walking.

we spoke for some moments. we could’ve spoken longer but were on our ways to different directions so I gave him my contact and walked home.

sometimes life is quite slow for a long time and then other times it moves so quickly. in the evening I saw him and we spoke about a lot of things for some hours walking through the streets of barcelona.
he told me about his plans for travelling europe and some festivals he was going to.
eventually he continued his travels the next day. oh, the life of a traveller; meeting oneself in another just to be separated again moments later never quite knowing how and when paths will cross again.

now I was supposed to fly out of spain 10 days after the retreat and in between I had thought to travel down to morocco, something that has been on my list for quite some time. but now suddenly my heart strongly called me to go to that festival in portugal.

some things really made sense in that. it’s going to happen exactly in the time frame I’m free between the retreat and seeing my family in august. it would be a wonderful adventure. other things really didn’t make sense to my mind. it would mean not taking my flight back which is not refundable. the ticket is quite expensive, I didn’t prepare to go to another festival. I don’t have a tent nor a hammock or anything. it means driving all the way to portugal in the two days in between retreat and festival. and so on..
my mind had a whole little presentation of worries and fears in terms of why I shouldn’t do it.

but my heart knew. and living in this body so long I know that if my heart chose something it will happen anyways.

so I did it: still to my very own surprise I got myself a ticket for boom festival yesterday! I took another leap of faith and jumped into the unknown once again.

besides that lovely stranger from the streets of barcelona there’s one other person I knew was going to boom festival as well. a good friend from my hometown in germany.

when I spoke to him briefly about having a ticket he mentioned something that gave me another intuition and shortly after what seemed so unlikely turned out to be true.

him and my friend from barcelona know each other from many years ago in canada and are also good friends. not only that but they have also spoken about camping together at boom festival. what synchronicity!

I landed in valencia. again this city is way bigger than I expected. how strange it is to suddenly be in such a big place all alone and without a place to go to! happy I am that I’ll only stay here for a night.

the architecture here is incredible. truly, no comparison to some other cities I’ve visited, especially german ones. the majority of spanish people are beautiful and well dressed. I am just me. sweaty after walking with all of my luggage, dressed the way I’m dressed most of the time, wearing barefoot shoes even though I’d prefer not to wear shoes at all.

I found myself a vegan restaurant to hide from the sun until my couchsurfing host would return from work or my friend from mexico would hit me up. the man in the line behind me asked me to pay for my lunch but I turned the offer down. I’m happy to have space for myself and just be with me.